i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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