this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
