hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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