I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Enjoy the penises
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
