Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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