Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
