I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
