Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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