Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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