Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
