if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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