she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
