i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
