Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
apparently the secret to your success is patron
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
