fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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