I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
