she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
