I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
