For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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