i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
