i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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