I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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