just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
