I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
