Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
