She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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