What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
