i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
