I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
