I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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