there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
