They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
