That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize