so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
