i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you would pick up someone in the library
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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