I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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