eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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