i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
