We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
