I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
