You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
