apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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