i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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