I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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