He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
