Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
