just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
