So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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