he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
