i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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