No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
