idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
