:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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