I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I could fuck to npr.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
