But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
