Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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