Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
