Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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