I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
