Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize