I look better un-naked...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
