What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
