One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize