I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
