More tranny stories later!
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
