I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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