dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
