ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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