i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
is wine microwaveable?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
