Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
she peed on how many people?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
